Friar Valentine's Cell

  A Royal Feast a jest written for the coronation of King Andreas III and Queen Kallista III by brother Valentine Garnett Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual rulers is purely coincidental. No royals were harmed in the writing of this poem.   We are crowning a King and Queen In the Kingdom of Aethelmearc! We are learning all about them, Though things are looking stark.   We are going to have a feast, but like all the reigns before, They enjoy a lot of foods, But they dislike even more!   She likes dark chocolate, He does not. He likes Mountain Dew She thinks it tastes like snot. She likes the flavor of figs, He’d rather eat suckling pigs. He likes lots of spice, She does not think that’s nice. She likes peaches, He likes plums. He wants coffee, SHE NEEDS TUMS! Neither one likes beans, Nor do they like greens. They say no to potatoes, Same goes for tomatoes. And… * chanted rhythmical...

  Valentine Garnett (m.k.a. Terry Mumma) Cretonnée de pois nouveaulx (Cretonnée of New Peas) based on the recipe “Cretonnée de pois nouveaulx ou fèves nouvelles” from “Le Ménagier de Paris”, anonymous c. 1393 France This is my int erpretation of the recipe  Cretonnée de pois nouveaulx from the medieval French guide for a wife's proper maintaining of a household, " Le Ménagier de Paris."  This was prepared for the 9 September 2025 Cook's Guild meeting for the Shire of Abhainn Ciach Ghlais. Our theme was French Food.  Dictionnaire du Moyen Français (1330-1500) defines  Cretonnée as "Mets à base de légumes et de viandes et préparé avec du gras de lard" or "a dish of meats and legumes prepared with lard," which is fair, but doesn't cover the complexity of this particular version. Otherwise , I haven't found a reliable definition of the word  Cretonnée. I have seen it associated with the word "Craytoun," which is typically de...